Page 67 - Obruni In Ghana | Amber Lockridge

OBRUNI IN GHANA 65
home?” Although, possibly, I am not alone in this mental complaint.
I used to feel a sense of deep hypocrisy about my behavior. The twinge still hits me from time to time, but it usually emerges as and amused and ironic grin. I’m not sure what changed. Did my principles shift or did I just get used to the lie? Perhaps my ego finally found a compromise between pride of honesty and the need to appear perfect. I have a battalion of rationalizations: I’m just trying to assimilate into the culture better and if anyone actually asked me straight out, I tell myself, I would confess the truth.
Despite the moral ambiguities, my acceptance, or resignation, of the ruse has made church more enjoyable. In addition, Sekondi Evangelical Presbyterian is conducted entirely in Ewe, a Ghanaian language I don’t know and conveniently refuse to learn. I understand almost nothing of what’s being said around or about me. The sermon cannot strike the fear of God into my heart and I have an excellent excuse for not repeating affirmations. Instead, I cradle my head between my